The Barman

Not-E-Rotica
/nɒt-ɪ-ˈrɒtɪkə/
noun
Absolutely terrible erotic literature or art.

THE BARMAN
When you mix a cocktail containing a buff Alpha barman, an attractive client, Happy Hour and the vacant manager’s office, you know it’s going to be an intense, intoxicating combination of subtle flavours, culminating in an explosion of sensual sensations.

Unless, of course, it’s a parody!

In that case, you’re more likely to come across tired tropes and clumsy cliches masterfully manipulated by the *Professor of Parody into a fun erotic short story that emulates those abysmal books that we occasionally come across and throw away quickly whilst wiping our hands on our shirts and looking furtively in both directions before hurrying away.

DISCLAIMER:
Whilst this is a parody of regular poor erotic writing, it still contains strong language of a sexual nature. This is definitely NSFW, NSFYG and possibly NSFAOAND either.